Italia

Our family spent spring break in Italy. It's a magical country to visit- so much history, culture, art, natural beauty...

However, what I learned most from the Italians is how fortunate I am to have a toddler in my life. After returning from this trip, I developed this strong appreciation for my son. I found that Italians as a whole value their children immensely. They will involve them and they will demonstrate affection to them. They truly showed appreciation for my little guy. The hotel front desk worker would always give my son a piece of candy, a hug, and a kiss on our way out for sightseeing. On our departure day, the hotel staff came out, gave my son a hug and gave us "a million thanks" for our stay. The front desk worker even let out a few tears when we left as he was giving my son his last hug. The respect and appreciation they showed for my toddler was consistent throughout the trip. On our train, various riders would take turns trying to comfort our toddler and would be amused with his energy. At one point, one gentleman even wanted to carry him in his arms and rock him to sleep during the ride. Of course, as a protective mother, I didn't allow it but I appreciated his offer to help us out. In Venice, while we were on the gondola ride, our toddler began to get fussy and our guide held him and let him row the gondola with him. As we were sailing through the canals in Venice, two older ladies stopped and serenaded my toddler as he was rowing the gondola. Other individuals would comment how cute my toddler was rowing the gondola. At the restaurants, they would always acknowledge our toddler and play with him while we were waiting on our meal to be served. They would bring a candy for him. In Naples, a cab driver approached us and told us that he would give us a discount for a tour around Naples, Pompeii, and Sorrento because we had a “bambini.”

It did not seem odd to any of the Italians that we were traveling with our little guy. The only individuals that would approach us about how odd it was to travel with our toddler were the American tourists. One young American female told us that she always thought that once you have a child, that’s all, you are "stuck" at home taking care of him. What a contrast to the older Italian male that was recommending that we visit India next year. He told us that he has traveled extensively with his son and that traveling with toddlers is actually easier because toddlers are just so happy to be involved. He said that once children turn five, they begin to complain about where they want to go. He added, “If you want to go to India, go now before your son can complain about wanting to go to Disneyland instead.” It was interesting that the gentleman never said, "Wait to go to India when your son is grown." He also never said, "Leave your son at home when you go to India." He was all about involving our son in our vacationing and comprising with his developmental needs.

This gentleman was very representative of the Italians that we encountered. Perhaps this is why the children in Italy seemed so happy to me. They seemed so curious and interested in life. While on school field trips to the Colosseum, the children were excited and thrilled to be there. Most importantly, the teachers and adults around them encouraged that excitement for life. I saw the children run and jump and everyone responded with warmth. I recall one little girl jumped and shouted "Coloseo" and the older gentleman around her just smiled. I saw another girl run to her teacher and shout "Maestra... maestra" and her teacher warmly hugged her and said "Bambini." I have worked with many different children in many different settings here in the United States: schools, after school centers, homes, etc. I have never observed so much appreciation for children. I told my husband while we were in Italy that I do not think that children seem as happy or excited for life in the United States. I’m not alone in my observations.

There is a famous Turkish saying, "You are not an adult until you have had a child," referring to the notion that in many cultures the mark of being a mature human being is setting aside all your own needs and ambitions for your child's well being and happiness. Michael Gurian, a family therapist who has studied thirty two cultures states that “children are the loneliest in America.” He adds, "American parents are most lonely too. Parents in America are most likely to adsorb their children into their busy lives and the least likely to say they would give up their busy lives for their child." After spending, a week and half in Italy, his findings really resonate with me. As a nation, we need to strengthen our respect for children. We would truly benefit from absorbing a little bit of the Italian culture and appreciating children.